


Stoner

by Pizzypop



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs, Heavy Angst, Just Edd doing drugs, Recreational Drug Use, Sad, Sad Ending, Stoner Edd, drug, edd is a stoner, sad boy hours, stoner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 00:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15449085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pizzypop/pseuds/Pizzypop
Summary: You just need to find a way out. A release, some form of outlet. A way to feel alive and happy.(AKA- Edd does drugs and gets sad)





	Stoner

Horrible. Pained, useless, all-around just bad. Terrible. All words that describe you.

Bad friend, bad leader. You’re supposed to hold together for your friends, keep the stars aligned, keep them from fighting. Bend to their will, keep them happy. Keep them alive, keep them safe. That was your purpose, keep people smiling, keep them smiling.

Forced.

Fake smiles everywhere. Pretending, laughing behind your back. The world was dark, you were plunged into a dark abyss of panic and terror. Everywhere you’d step, the floor would crack. Everywhere you try to hide, you would always be found.

Watched. Alone. Frightened.

They’re here. They’re always here, watching. Listening. Recording everything you do and say, marking every mistake you make.

Every time Matt’s smile falters.

Every time Tom takes a hearty swing from his flask.

Every time Tord flashes through your memory.

It’s too much, too much, too much. It’s too much pain on your shoulders, weighing you down. You want it to stop, you’re pleading, begging. Your throat closes as you choke for sweet oxygen, clawing at your chest that seemed to be punching your ribs, wanting an escape from your rotten body.

Out. Out. You wanted a way out, an escape. You want to ebb away the pain, feel good once again. Light on your feet, a shining aura sticking out through the darkness. You’re chained to the ground, limbs heavy.

You need to leave, you know that. Get out and perform more activities that would get you into trouble. More adventures. Throw yourself into more life-threatening situations, dragging your friends along, just hoping- wishing, even- that it would be your final one.

But no. Every time that you die- every time that you fail, your family dies- every single time. There is a reboot. You are reborn, just waking up in bed again.

Every time you realize that you’re still alive, your heart’s still beating, you’re still breathing, tears begin to leak out of your eyes. You ball up the soft blankets on your bed, feeling your long, semi-sharp nails through the fabric. Your other hand reaches up to your mouth, teeth coming down on a fist to bite back sobs.

There’s a flood. The ocean seeps through your skin, washing down your face. A storm is gathered in your bedroom, causing you to curl up into a ball. Causing you to beg again, plead again. You want it to be over, you want to, you want to…

You know what you need. It’s almost as if it’s been in front of you the whole time. You said you would stop, you promised that yesterday would be the last time. But, as you inch your hand closer to the dresser, your mouth dries. You yearn for the familiar taste tickling your throat.

Armed with a bottle of water, you tear open the drawer. It nearly flies right out, but you’re able to stop it in time. Your breath is caught in your throat, your heart is left at a dull throb. Your head is reeling, fingers are trembling. You need this. You’ve earned it.

Hiccuping, your hands bring a small box out from the drawer and into your lap. You stare down at the chest, flinching a bit before hastily grabbing the key that was resting on your nightstand.

A force compelled you to strike, ram the golden key into the green, shimmering chest. You turn it and throw the top open, met with what you need. A lovely aroma escaped from the box and flurried into the air, enwrapping you with the lulling, hypnotic promise of release.

You took what you needed before setting down the box, getting up to sink down to the floor. You used the bed to prop yourself up, hands clasped around the long, thin, cold, metallic item. It was just mesmerizing to hold.

Toying with yourself, a finger found its way to the button of the dab pen. It was loose, almost as if it was used just so often that it just knew to blow out smoke as soon as a finger brushed against it. Almost as if the pen knew it was a daily occurance.

Bringing the tip into your mouth, you take a deep breath as you hold down the button, wanting to get as much of the smog as you could down into your protesting lungs. Bringing it away fro your face, you held it still for a while longer before releasing it all with a cough.

One more hit. Just one more, that’s all you needed. You’d stay buzzed and you’d be happy, you would be able to stay your pun-loving self. For your friends, for them. You do it for them.

This time, your breath was deeper than before. You sucked in a lot more, holding it for longer, which caused louder coughing. The smoke blurred your vision and you batted it away with your hand, opening your water bottle and taking a long sip.

Your throat was burning. It was almost as if the crackling of the pen had sported some sort of flame that burst out into your lungs, rising up into your throat. Immediately, you do you best to down as much water as you could to douse the lit flame.

Once finished drinking the water, you shake your head and shakily move in for another hit. Your mind was begging and pleading. No more, that’s enough, that’s all you need. But your body would not allow that.

You craved more, you needed it. It’s the only thing that can keep you stable, keep you happy through all this. You’re supposed to stay strong, set an example for your friends. But why can’t you do that without destroying yourself first? Getting high off your ass?

Wonderland. Go back to wonderland, go back to your happy place. You’ve forgotten how much you’ve had, how much wax is trapped in your body. All you know is that you feel empty, numb. Like you’re just a sheet of paper floating in the wind. You bring yourself to your feet, stumbling a bit just as you stand in place.

The first thought is to put back the dab pen. Matt couldn’t find it, he would hoard it. Tom couldn’t find it, he would know what was up. Tord couldn’t find it, he would take it away from you.

Swaying, you stash it away, tucking it back into your drawer. You throw closed the small door, hardly flinching as it made a loud noise. Wood clashed against wood and you staggered backwards, making a dive for your bottle of water. There wasn’t much left, but you could still do with a few drops on your tongue.

Once grabbing the plastic bottle, you threw your head back and shook the bottle, trying to get as much of it as you could. Once satisfied, you threw it down onto the ground, a smile creeping across your face. You took in a deep breath and found your fingers tangling into your hair.

You could already feel the world around you spinning. You noticed the way your vision twisted, spinning around your surroundings in a surreal way. You giggled a bit at the feeling. 

Toes and fingers curling, you connected the feeling to that of a spider. You believed that you felt like a spider made up of other spider crawling up every single muscle that you moved. You felt like you were phasing through the air, teleporting through realities.

Your body was tingling from the smog that filled your body. You were somewhat trembling, giggling from just the feeling of it. Falling onto your bed, you got comfortable and stared at the ceiling.

Always moving. Never still, never alone. There was always someone with you. You have definitely taken notice of that, feeling the intense glare hitting your body as you turned onto your side.

Taking deep breaths, you slowly close your eyes, breathing deeply through your mouth. You calm and begin to float on air, leaning your head back into your pillows and giggling a small bit more at the feeling of it all.

You felt tears streaming down your cheeks. Hot rivers of salty fluid cascaded down your skin, plopping down onto your green hoodie. You gazed up into the stars, seeing past the barrier of death.

You reached your hand up for them, up for your friends. You smiled idiotically as the tears continued to flow, hiccuping as you giggled a bit more hysterically. You knew this was a problem, you knew you needed to stop.

But you couldn’t stop. There was just no way. It was the only way to see them again, to keep you all together. Slowly, your eyes began to slide shut and you were beginning to see a wonderful new world. A world just for you.

Edd’s world.


End file.
